Advice

My wife, Kathy, and I are rapidly approaching retirement, and I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do with the next 30 years of my life. So, today, as we are headed to the movies, and as we go through town, Kathy comments on the old empty gas station at the corner of Corban and Union Streets. She wonders if it will ever find a use, as it is small and has very little parking.

This gets me thinking, and as my stream of consciousness progresses, I come up with a use for the building, and a retirement project for me. I think I will go into the advice business. Now, I've lived a long life and have learned from my numerous mistakes, and from a few good decisions, so, I think that I am well qualified to tell others what they should do. Stay in school, don't major in English Literature or medieval history, don't join a cult. Having thoughts about marrying you boyfriend when he gets out of prison, come talk to me. I've been doing a lot of this work on the side for free, so why not get paid for it.

I know I can't charge like a doctor, lawyer, or a plumber, but advice demands a high price. After all, who wants free or cheap advice. You get what you pay for. Charging a fee ads credibility to the advice, and the higher the fee the more profoundly it enhances the advice and increases the chance that it might actually be followed. I think there is a huge market for this service. It seems that every time I turn on the TV someone is offering free advice. There's Dr Phil, Suzy Orman, Joel Osteen, Martha Stewart, and  Bobby, giving advice on things that support their products, whether it be prosperity religion,  recipes, or high priced heating and air service. I simply propose to cut out the ulterior motive. You pay me directly for my completely unbiased expert advice.

I'm not even sure I can handle the work load. I'm thinking of offering positions to a few of the old guys in my morning coffee klatch. They have the immense wisdom of the ancients, and have shown an unselfish desire to offer their advice to someone almost every day.

I do have some concerns. How should I charge for my services, by the hour, or by the amount of intellectual capital I invest in the solution to a particular problem. Another concern is the potential liability I might incur in the unlikely occasion of someone following my advice to an unacceptable result. I plan to consult with the experts over coffee in the morning.