My New Rescue Dog Urc

I've been working on a new do it your self project that requires a dog, so I went to the local shelter and adopted one.  The purpose of my project is to produce electricity for my home.  I've modified an old home treadmill I wasn't using, so the the motor that propelled it now functions as a generator.  I've trained my dog to run on the treadmill and made a little device that drops a single bit of Purina Dog Chow onto a tray every five minutes.  The treadmill generator is attached to a battery which provides current to my refrigerator even when the dog is too tired to run.  I noticed that the dog tends to stop running when he eats his dog chow, so I modified an invisable fence collar to administer a non lethal shock to the dog if the treadmill slows down.  I considered adopting a greyhound for the work, but decided that it's stride is too long for a standard treadmill.  Instead, I obtained a mutt with some hound and Pitt bull mixed in.  The dog was very aggressive and was not very adoptable, but I've found that after ten hours of running on the treadmill, the dog has calmed down quite a bit, and sleeps almost all of the time not at work.  In order to curb protests by the dog, I've considered having him debarked, but I need to do a more through cost/benefit analysis before taking on the additional cost.  The system is not very efficient, but the labor is very cheap, and I'm working on ways to make my worker, err dog, more productive.  I'm gradually lenghtening the time between morsels, and have thought about adding a strong incentive smell to the front end of the treadmill.  The dog is also losing weight, which so far has improved his stamina without any other noticeable effects.  I know that there is a fine line between productivity and starvation, and I'm trying to achieve a happy balance.

In fact, this project is going so well, I'm considering expanding.  I've bought a used shipping container, and I'm purchasing unwanted treadmills (call me if you have one).  I believe that I can (if I make two levels) get twenty workstations in a trailer.  I will collect the electricity and reverse sell it to the power companies like some people do with their excess solar or wind power.  I've decided to export the units to willing municipal animal shelters, and will share the profits with the shelters.  This will increase my profits without the bother of direct worker, I mean dog, contact.  This way I will not get any bad publicity, should there be any worker, there I go again, I mean dog abuse.  The shelters will no doubt become more selective in the kind of dogs they capture.  It makes no economic sense to put a Yorkie or a Chihuahua, either of which might be useful as an actual pet, on a full size treadmill.

I've approached some venture capitalists to provide seed money for my start up,  but I'm willing to let a few of my closest friends in on the venture.  There could be big money in this when it gets off the ground.  I could perhaps, even export the units to China where they have a serious pollution problem from coal fired electric generation plants.  There, they eat their dogs, but have an excess of expendable people.

One of the things I've noticed about my dog, is that his need for food is so strong, that I don't need to keep him on a lease.  Because of this, I named him Urc for unrestrained capitalism.