Ah Spring

Spring officially starts this weekend, at least for me. Daylight savings time kicks in on Sunday, and its not a day too soon. We've had a little Spring teaser the last couple of days with mid-sixties days and cool nights. I know there's more cold weather coming, after all, the average last spring frost is not until around the sixteenth of April, but I can tell that old man winter's back is broken. I got a good bike ride in today, and also yesterday. Maybe I won't have to go to spinning sessions but a few more times before I can start hitting the road every day. I've always like to ride a bike, but I got pretty serious about it about twenty five years ago, when my knees got so bad that I could no longer run. It's always tough in the Spring to get started again. I get out of shape over the winter, and the first month or so of riding is brutal.

The worst part is that I'm a year older every spring. If it weren't for mirrors and bicycles, I would swear that I'm still in my thirties. You know the old line; "Look in the mirror and see your father's face". Holy crap! When did that happen. The thing that really scares me is that I remember seeing my dad's butt and thighs when he was in his late seventies. Or should I say, what was left of his butt and thighs. My dad was a big guy like me, and I remember he had big powerful forearms like a baseball player or a lumberjack. Unfortunately, he was a truly professional drunk, while I still maintain my amateur status. The bike though, is the true measure of my age. There's this fitness formula, two twenty minus your age, that determines your maximum heart rate. A thirty year old, according to this formula has a maximum heart rate of 190, while sixty two year old (me) has a maximum of 158. This is like the laws of physics, like trying to defy gravity. No matter how hard you work out, you are tethered to your maximum heart rate. It means that you can't climb as long and hard as you did when you were thirty, you can't sprint as far or as fast, you just don't f-----g have it. (Honest to God, tears came to my eyes as I wrote this.) Over all, I'm pretty fit..........

Time out for an important news flash, channel nine will be over head at any minute. My wife just informed me that there is a whole cadre of fire trucks and equipment outside our house. After an in depth investigation, I have determined the following: My next door neighbor was having some plumbing work done at his house, and the plumber broke some kind of old device that was mounted in the basement. It was filled with Mercury, which spilled out into a big puddle on the floor. The neighbors did a little Internet investigation, and ended up calling the EPA. The EPA informed them that they should call the local fire department, and after they did so, the fire department showed up with the complete Hazmat unit, which includes two tractor trailers full of equipment, a fire truck, ambulance, and miscellaneous fireman, policemen and officials. They have been over there for at least an hour. So, back to my post.

Over all, I'm pretty fit, although who knows what might be waiting to bite me in the ass at any moment. I do physical work for a living, and I'm still pretty strong. I have not yet developed man boobs, although, when I put my heart monitor on this afternoon, I noticed that the strap did enhance my cleavage a little. I've always been very competitive, although not by any means a great athlete, and it hurts me more than you can imagine that I can't keep up with the young guys, but occasionally, I foolishly try.

Another distraction, as I'm writing this post, I'm also watching my favorite show; "Chuck". The show is stupid and banal, but I like it, particularly, I like Yvonne Strahovski, the hottest girl on TV. She had me after the episode where she put both hands on a counter top, and with out taking her hands off of the counter top, she leaped onto it. It's the equivalent of a man jumping into the air and putting his pants on. Did I mention that she's very attractive? Yes, I'm old, but not dead. Where was I?

Spring. It's just around the corner. Another day older and deeper in oxygen dept. In about three weeks I'll start sailboat racing. At least I don't have to depend on my heart rate for a victory. Unfortunately, sailing and biking compete for the same time slots. The story of my life, so many hobbies and so little time.